Every Tuesday afternoon during term-time, young parents workers will be making cups of tea and cheese toasties in the Community Room at Romsey Mill Centre, ready to welcome young mums and their babies.

But is it just about cheese toasties?

Heather Duke, from Romsey Mill’s Young Parents Programme, discusses the importance of our postnatal group, Babies & Buddies. 

What is Babies & Buddies?

Firstly, let us not underestimate the power of a cheese toastie.

As most mums will agree, having a hot drink and a simple meal made for you can feel like a real treat when life is changed forever by a new baby. But so often the little things also represent that which is more significant, and toastie-making is no exception.

Nothing makes people smile quite like a baby. As you push them along in the buggy or carry them in a sling, smiles from others can flood in. It is easy to celebrate a baby when you are passing them momentarily in the street. And of course, it can be easy to celebrate a baby when you are their parent, too. But it is also incredibly hard work.

The first days while you recover from the birth and adjust to this new life, the early weeks of feeding and sleepless nights, the natural worries and the bombardment of information. Throw in living alone, feeling judged and innumerable other challenges and it can all too quickly feel overwhelmingly hard.

At Romsey Mill, we care passionately about supporting young parents to build up confidence, knowledge and connections, recognising their own enormous capability to care for their little one. We also believe, in line with all the evidence, that the earliest years of a child’s life are profoundly important. And if we believe that, then we must also believe that the wellbeing of every mother, father and carer matters immensely. If the work of bringing up children is significant work, then let’s care for the workers. 

Romsey Mill’s original post-natal group began in 1997 when the Young Parents Programme was started by Liz Diamond (now Romsey Mill’s Charity Shop Development Worker). In 2004, this became Bumps & Babies, which is now known as Babies & Buddies. Babies & Buddies aims to provide a welcoming, safe space for mums aged 21 and under to bring their babies.

Within this overarching aim, we hold a number of key aspects in mind:  facilitating healthy relationships, the health and development of babies and children, the physical and emotional wellbeing of young mums, making practical guidance and advice readily available and holding in mind future prospects.

We provide simple crafts so, that if a baby is sleeping or enjoying time playing with the toys, mums can create something lovely for themselves or their babies. With the mums, we have made wooden memory boxes to store precious items from the babies’ first years, and decorated tote bags to give as Christmas gifts.

Stronger Together

 Throughout our work at Romsey Mill, we recognise that we are stronger when we join together in partnership with others who share our ethos and vision.  In recent months, at Babies & Buddies, we have had several visits from a member of the teenage-specialist midwife team, a health visitor joining us for a discussion on weaning and a support worker from the Rosie Neonatal Voices to talk about wellbeing in the postnatal period.

Another highlight was a visit from a perinatal project worker from the charity, Mind, who talked through some of the ways that looking after ourselves can have a positive impact on the health and wellbeing of our babies.

Our hope is that this contact helps to build trust and for mums to benefit from the support offered within the group.

Nicola Norris, a teenage-specialist midwife with whom we work closely, says:

“As a midwife I see the difference it makes for new mums and their babies to be able to go to groups where they feel safe and welcomed. Babies & Buddies is one of those places”.

The support of and partnership with professionals like Nicola is invaluable to us at Romsey Mill and we are immensely thankful for it.

What the mums think

Towards the end of our most recent session at Babies & Buddies, one of the mums commented:

“My baby is in such a good mood after Babies & Buddies. Seeing the other babies and getting out of the house is the best thing for her.”

That age-old phrase “it goes by in the blink of an eye” may well be true from one angle. But the days can feel long when social isolation, tiredness and other challenges dominate. Young parents are every bit as capable as any other parent but can find themselves surrounded by additional challenges – not of their making and yet there for them to navigate. We are with them on that journey.

Throughout the year, Romsey Mill engages with 2,500 local young people, children and families, supporting mental health and wellbeing through positive, relational youth and family work.  

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